I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
