well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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