thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
