i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
