Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
