Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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