My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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