if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
