So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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