Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize