Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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