And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
