garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
