it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
