Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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