Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
