Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
