I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
