my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
