In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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