K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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