There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm at about main and main street
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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