So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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