Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
