I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
