I'm eating all of the evidence.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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