4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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