make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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