I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize