normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
