is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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