My first STD was from a foam party
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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