we should wear snuggies to the strip club
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
