how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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