She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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