How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
