Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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