I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize