There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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