apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize