just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
