We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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