Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize