omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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