oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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