Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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