I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just pynch a tree in the face
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize