Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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