I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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