Your tits are I can't wait for
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
