jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
