She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
