so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
