My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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