I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
