ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
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My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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