physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
