Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
