we have officially lost it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
