I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
