He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize