just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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